Damn It Janet
by fagfiction
Summary: Scullys watching Rocky Horror home alone with a bottle of wine. She is joined by Mulder. Short and fun!  D Merry Christmas all!


**Based this on a Friday night at home watching Sound of Music and the boyfriend came round and starting singing "How do you solve a problem like Maria" But I reckon Damn it Janet is a bit funnier =P Set around season 5-6 doesn't really matter though. **

Scully lay on her couch, glass of sav in her hand, empty bottle of wine on the floor. She was feeling that happy, distant feeling you get when you are in between tipsy and drunk. Scully was enjoying a night in, no spooks, aside from on the screen. She was watching Rocky Horror quite contently.

Scully answered the door,

_Brad:  
Hey Janet.  
_

Scully said repeated the line as she saw Mulder in the door frame,

"Hey Janet," alcohol had always made Scully flirty and tonight was no exception, she purred the line, before walking backwards towards the lounge.

_Janet:  
Yes Brad?_

Mulder looked confused, and stepped into her apartment. 

_Brad:  
I've got something to say.  
_

Scully repeated this line, too, completely synced with the television

_Janet:  
Uh, huh?_

Mulder raised an eyebrow sceptically, he was not used to Scully being like this. Scully grabbed his hand and carried on, 

_Brad:  
I really loved the...  
skillful way  
You beat the other girls  
To the bride's bouquet.  
_

Mulder had grabbed onto what she was doing and replied, in a falsetto voice

_Janet:  
Oh Brad._

Scully winked at him as the music seemed to swirl into the verse, still holding his hand and using her other hand as a fake microphone she stood on the couch and began to sing down at Mulder

_Brad:  
The river was deep but  
I swam it. (Janet)  
The future is ours so  
let's plan it. (Janet)  
So please, don't tell  
me to can it. (Janet)_

_I've one thing to say  
and that's _

Scully stepped off the sofa, and holding both Mulders hand, looked deep into his eyes...

_Dammit, Janet  
I love you._

Letting go of Mulders hands she jumped back onto the sofa and started miming the actions depicted in the verse. 

_The road was long but  
I ran it. (Janet)  
There's a fire in my  
heart and you fan it. (Janet)_

Scully stepped back off the sofa and sat down on it, Mulder was standing in bemusement at his partners actions. Scully grabbed his hand from her sitting position and carried on singing. _  
If there's one fool for  
you then I am it. (Janet)  
I've one thing to say and  
that's Dammit, Janet  
I love you._

Getting down on one knee she slid the ring off the top of a corkscrew lying on her coffee table onto Mulders ring finger, he feigned a surprised look and Scully grinned mischievously

_Here's a ring to prove  
that I'm no joker._

She stood up at this point and started using ridiculous hand gestures...

_There's three ways that  
love can grow.  
That's good, bad,  
or mediocre.  
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I  
love you so.  
_

Mulder gave Scully a wicked grin and carried on, in a very falsetto high voice, He grabbed Scullys hands and with each monotonous 'Oh Brad' pivoted him and her 180 degrees

_Janet:  
Oh, it's nicer than Betty  
Monroe had. (Oh Brad)  
Now we're engaged and I'm  
so glad (Oh Brad)  
That you met Mom and you  
know Dad. (Oh Brad)_

He stopped rotating them at this point and holding his clenched fists to his heart, looked up and finished. _  
I've one thing to say and  
that's Brad, I'm mad, for you too._

Both were holding hands again and staring into each others eyes whilst singing their lines

_Oh Brad..._

_Brad:  
Oh... dammit.  
_

Scully wiggled her eyebrows at him and stuck her tongue out at him, Mulder merely batted his eyelids over-dramatically,

_Janet:  
I'm mad..._

_Brad:  
Oh, Janet._

Mulder walked backwards and Scully forwards, slowly, both were laughing at this point whilst trying to sing!

_Janet:  
For you._

_Brad:  
I love you too.  
_

They joined hands again and together sung the next line, Scullys false mans voice sounding perfectly ridiculous against the silly false voice Mulder was putting on

_Brad & Janet:  
There's one thing left to  
do - ah – oo._

Scully let go of Mulders hands and began to circle him, carrying on the verse, 

_Brad:  
And that's go see the  
man who began it. (Janet)  
When we met in his science  
exam - it (Janet)  
Made me give you the eye  
and then panic. (Janet)_

_Now I've one thing to say  
and that's_

She took his hands again and looked up into his eyes, with each line they moved closer and closer to each other

_Dammit, Janet,  
I love you._

Mulder then pouted his lips, like a thirteen year old girl trying to imitate a supermodel, 

_Janet:  
Oh Brad, I'm mad.  
_

Scully replied huskily and in a deep, fake manly voice _  
Brad:  
Dammit, Janet._

_Brad & Janet:  
I ... love ... you. _

The two were nose to nose, Mulder closed his eyes instinctively and moved in, but Scully had other plans, she opened her mouth and snapped her teeth before sticking her tongue out, quite seductively. Mulder opened his eyes and pouted, "Brad?" He said, giving her puppy dog eyes. Scully moved past his face, so her lips were just next to his ear,

"You haven't even seen my Frankenfurter imitation yet."

**AN. Its silly and OOC. But just imagine it! I had a lot of fun writing this ;) Hope you liked it! =P **


End file.
